16 Insulting Holiday ‘Bonuses’ From Incredibly Cheap Companies
Remember when Clark Griswold received a membership to the Jelly of the Month club when he was banking on his Christmas bonus covering the cost of a pool? Tons of companies act like real cheapskates when it comes to giving their employees bonuses. We sifted through Reddit to find some of the most did-them-dirty bonuses of all, from coupons to gift cards.
1. Be Better
“Work in sales (top performing team). Entire team got the same book on how to be better at sales. We are supposed to read this book on our downtime (whenever that is) and then management wants to go over the book chapter by chapter in our weekly team meetings. This ‘gift’ was not well received by the team. There’s been talk about sending management a book on effective leadership or ‘management for dummies.'” –u/MKALPINE
2. Disappointing Outsourcing
“I used to work at the Cheesecake factory and one year they gave everyone a cheesecake. From Costco.” –u/Niirek
3. A Twisted Coffee Break
“Boss sent out a $10 Starbucks gift card the day he laid off 10% of our staff. ‘It’s not a layoff, it’s a coffee break’ is now a banned phrase on teams/slack.” – u/itassofd
4. PSA: A Coupon Is NOT a Bonus
“I worked for Domino’s in my early 20s, at the 5-year mark they gave me a huge congratulation thing in my store with the DMs. They handed me an envelope that had a coupon for 25% off a large 1-topping pizza.” –u/Durty_Durty_Durty
5. Unwanted Gift Cards
“My company used to do gift cards on 5- and 10-year anniversaries for 50 and 100 bucks and people complained that was insultingly small. In response, the company totally eliminated the program, so now you get nothing for your 5- and 10-year anniversaries.” –u/JeanValJohnFranco
6. Big on Words
“Over ten years working and every year I get an e-card ‘thank you for your service.’ Someone completed 25 years, send an email to look for special delivery and signature required, the person thought must be something valuable, nope. Certificate on some fancy paper congratulating for completing 25 years with the company.” –u/redditba
7. Just Another Brick in the Wall
“Friend of mine works for a company that has a patio with employees’ names on individual bricks. I guess you get your brick at 25 years with the company.
My friend says it’s so they can walk all over you for the rest of your life.” –u/ThatsNotFortyDollars
8. Weaponized Diversity
“We got told we were getting nothing. And the management’s excuse was ‘Well, not everyone celebrates Christmas, so it wouldn’t be fair.’ My colleague hit the nail on the head, ‘I’ve never heard diversity weaponized until I heard that.’ –u/darlo0161
9. Talk About a Party Pooper
“We get a mandatory work party which will cost each of us 25 dollars.” –u/ScottytheBody84
10. Nothing Like the Real Thing
“We got a digital cake. As in a clip inserted into an email as a thank you. There’s a grocery store across the street.” –u/Efficient-Regular-96
11. Mmm…Room Temperature Ham
“One year work bought everyone a ham. Didn’t matter if you couldn’t eat ham. They were delivered to your desk mid-day. There was not enough room in our fridge to store them all. It was weird. Every year prior to that we got cash.” –u/nimfrank
12. A Day Late and a Dollar Short
“I used to work at a retail store that gave everyone who worked on Black Friday a free, uncooked Thanksgiving turkey. Yes, they gave us a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving the day after Thanksgiving.” –u/FemshepsBabyDaddy
13. Twist the Knife
“We got one day off. It has to be pre-approved three weeks in advance, it couldn’t be between Dec. 20th and Jan. 10th, it couldn’t be on a Friday or weekend, and we would be required to come in if asked.
The CEO took a vacation for all of December and January.” –u/Gary_The_Strangler
14. Gee, Thanks
“Got one tall boy of Bud Light. Just watched the CEO leave in a new Porsche while typing this. Had to hold back my feelings of throwing the can at him.” –u/Obvious-Engine-8208
15. Guess You Have To Share
“Company sent one box of candy/snacks for our 14-person team.” –u/Imtiffish24
16. Taxes Will Get You Every Time
“We got a 25-dollar bonus for Thanksgiving. But it is on a check separate from our paychecks. Since I have extra taxes taken from each check I get, it all went to taxes.” –u/thisfriend