20 Photos That Remind Us Freedom Isn’t Free

Someone’s entire life can be reduced to a statistic. Like 999, the number of Army service members who were killed in action during Operation Enduring Freedom, the initial phase of the War in Afghanistan.
Here’s the thing: One of those 999 meant the world to me. One of those 999 used to trick me into thinking he was magic when I was a kid. When I was a teenager, he hated every boy I ever spoke to. And when I started college and my first real-world job, he would constantly tell me how proud of me he was, and would Skype with me from the desert on slow nights at work.
My brother, Sgt. Joseph M. Lilly, was killed in action on June 14, 2012 (alongside his friend PFC Trevor Pinnick, who passed two days prior). Since his passing almost 13 years ago, I’ve constantly thought and written about the sacrifices he and so many others made to protect our freedoms. It’s become my mission to always honor and respect those people.
For those who haven’t experienced a loss like this, the statistics might just be numbers. These pictures, however, offer a new perspective on the meaning behind Memorial Day — one that reminds you that freedom comes at a tremendous cost.
1. Honoring Gold Star Families

The ultimate sacrifice is a soldier who gives his or her life in the line of duty. They make a conscious decision to put their life on the line, knowing they might lose it.
Their families, however, don’t sign up for those risks. They aren’t given their own documents to sign in the recruitment office, and they aren’t on the front lines, acutely aware of the threats of war. Still, when the soldier they love makes the ultimate sacrifice, they lose something profound, too. Those families, dubbed Gold Star Families, deserve to be honored as well. Organizations like TAPS (the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) provide resources and support for those families, and there are events and monuments tied to the organization — like this monument in Clinton Township, Michigan.
2. Hug a Hero Dolls

Three-year-olds mourn, too. When my brother was alive, he used to make the most animated animal sounds with his son, and I can remember my nephew crowing like a rooster to try to wake his dad up during his funeral visitation. I remember him telling me, “My daddy is in Heaven now, but he’s also in my heart and yours.” He slept with his “Daddy Doll,” shown in the picture above, every night for a long time to give him some comfort after his loss.
3. Coming Home

There’s no question that the homecoming videos and pictures you see of soldiers returning to their families’ loving arms after deployment are heartwarming. But seeing a soldier come home the alternative way, in a flag-wrapped casket carried by soldiers in their dress blues, is one of those sights you have a visceral reaction to, whether you knew them or not. I can remember standing off to the side of the airstrip when my own brother came home, and a butterfly flew past my face as I watched his casket descend from the plane — it was the first time I saw his spirit and body in two different places.
4. Interchangeable Memorials

Military bases have their stalwart memorials, and many of them also have different displays, like the Fort Campbell Boot Display, that will be changed out every couple of years to give each of the fallen their deserved honors. This is the last year the Boots Display Memorial will be up, and families have the opportunity to claim the memorial and have it shipped to them.
5. Games and Runs in a Soldier’s Honor

Many schools host military nights, where the football players get special jerseys marked with a fallen hero’s name. There is also the “Wear Blue: Run to Remember” race (among other athletic events) dedicated to honoring soldiers who gave the ultimate sacrifice. Ann Marie Keim, mother of LTC Christopher Scott, runs every year for Sgt. Joseph Lilly (my brother) and SPC Trevor Pinnick, who both lost their lives in the same mission her son was on.
6. Hugs at the Memorial Day Parade in Washington, D.C.

Memorial Day parades are not your typical parade, meant to merely celebrate. Instead, this Washington, D.C. parade honors and remembers those we’ve lost, and offers support and hugs to the ones who mourn them. In this photo, the hugs come from Gary Sinise, who you may best remember as LT. Dan in “Forrest Gump.”
7. The Arlington Ladies

The Arlington Ladies have attended military funerals held at Arlington National Cemetery since 1948, ensuring no soldier is left without someone to honor and mourn them.
8. Deployment Doesn’t Stop

When my brother and Trevor were killed in Afghanistan, everyone they deployed with didn’t just get to take bereavement time and head home. The deployments don’t end because you lose a couple of brothers. Those men and women are expected to lace their boots back up and complete the job they were deployed to do. Because the military is rooted in camaraderie, though, they do hold memorials for the fallen to allow everyone the opportunity to honor and grieve with the resources they have.
9. On-Base Memorials

Head to any military base in the country and you’ll find a memorial devoted to soldiers who were based there but killed in action during deployments. It’s a way to honor their connection to their home base.
10. The Missing Man Table

Every piece on the Missing Man Table, which is set up at a military ball, holds a deep meaning — a silent tribute to those who never made it home.
Here’s what each element symbolizes:
The table is round to represent the unending concern for those missing.
The white tablecloth stands for the purity of their intentions when they stepped forward to serve.
The single red rose represents the lives lost and the loved ones who hold onto hope.
The red ribbon is a symbol of our unwavering commitment to finding answers.
The lemon slice speaks to the bitterness of their fate, left behind in foreign lands.
The pinch of salt represents the countless tears shed by families still waiting.
The Bible is a source of strength, a reminder of faith that carries us all through.
The inverted glass shows they can’t join us for a toast.
And the chair, left empty, is the seat they should have claimed.
11. Visiting Memorials

Lest we forget, memorials are not just for families to visit. Often, fallen soldiers’ brothers and sisters in arms are unable to visit their actual gravesite, so the memorials near them help give them a tangible place to honor the ones they lost.
12. Wreaths Across America

Wreaths Across America visits military graveyards around the holidays to dress each stone with a festive wreath. Their mission is to “Remember the fallen, honor those who serve, and teach the next generation the value of freedom.”
13. Patriot Guard Riders

The Patriot Guard Riders are a dedicated group of volunteers — many of them veterans or motorcycle enthusiasts — who honor the service and sacrifice of America’s military heroes. Their mission is simple but powerful: to show respect for fallen service members, first responders, and honorably discharged veterans by attending their funerals, standing in silent tribute, and shielding grieving families from unwanted disruptions when needed. I speak from firsthand experience that seeing a trove of bikers surround a funeral procession will take your breath away.
14. Not All Sacrifices Are Ultimate

Yes, Memorial Day is a day to honor the fallen, but it’s important to recognize all the sacrifices these soldiers make, whether or not they lose their lives in the process. While we were opening presents in our cozy home on Christmas, my brother and the rest of his unit said, “Cheese” in Santa hats to send a Christmas greeting back home from Afghanistan.
15. Taking the Time To Honor

This military family created a designated POW MIA table at their wedding, ensuring they found a way to weave in their respect and honor for those soldiers on their special day.
16. Strangers Showing Kindness

This picture is of the outside of the funeral home during my brother’s service. The room where the service was held was full. The waiting area outside that room was full. So the rest of the people filled the parking lot, listening to the proceedings over the outdoor speakers. Some people who had only briefly met my brother attended his funeral, and there were people there who never knew him at all, but they wanted to pay their respects to someone they considered a local hero. There were even adults and kids standing on the side of the road as we made our way to the cemetery, holding American flags to show their respect.
17. Leaving Coins on Gravestones

Leaving coins on military graves is a quiet, powerful tradition — a way to honor fallen service members and let their families know someone was there. Each coin carries a different meaning, depending on the denomination:
A penny means someone stopped by to pay their respects.
A nickel means the visitor trained with the service member.
A dime signifies that the visitor served with them in some capacity.
A quarter means the person was there when the service member died.
18. Funeral Formalities

Folded-up flags. 21-gun salutes. “Amazing Grace” on the bagpipes. American flags and soldiers wearing dress blues everywhere you look. Military funerals are riddled with traditional formalities that will bring you to tears, whether you knew the soldier or not. You don’t realize how much time, care, and effort is put into these services until you’ve participated in one. My family was even provided a liaison to turn to for any questions or support we needed.
19. Sharing a Cold One

Sometimes, the only thing to do is to crack a cold one in memory of the soldier you lost, whether at their gravesite or at home scrolling through pictures of them.
20. Forming a Relationship With a Stone

I used to visit my brother by walking down the hallway, turning left into the kitchen, and trudging down the stairs into his poorly-lit basement bedroom. Then, I took a road trip with him to visit his house in Fort Leonardwood, Missouri. Visiting a cold stone just isn’t the same, but when that and your memories are the only options, you bring flowers, coins, Johnny Walker Black (the only occasion I’ll ever be able to slug that down), and your bravest face, and you just … visit.
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If these stirring images reminded you of the sacrifices behind our freedoms, march over to 10 Valuable World War II Collectibles to see battlefield treasures that fetch top dollar, inspect 10 Valuable Vietnam War Collectibles for relics that honor a later generation of heroes, and take aim at 19 Photos of Antique and Iconic Firearms that echo America’s fighting spirit.