12 Things Every Eighties Kid Blew Their Allowance On
Saturday mornings in the ’80s had a rhythm: cartoons first, then chores, because that sweet, crumpled allowance wasn’t going to earn itself. Whether it was raking leaves, vacuuming the living room, or washing Dad’s car just well enough to pass inspection, every task brought you one step closer to the real prize: spending that hard-earned cash on the coolest, weirdest, and most unnecessary stuff at the mall, the corner store, or the nearest Toys “R” Us. Here are 12 things every ’80s kid rushed out to buy the first chance they got.
1. Magic 8 Balls
The ultimate decision-making oracle for 80s kids, answering everything from “Does Tommy like me?” to “Will Mom find out I skipped homework?”
2. Ring Pops
Because nothing made you feel more like royalty than rocking a giant, sticky gemstone on your finger.
3. MAD Magazine
The go-to source for satirical humor, weird cartoons, and folding the back cover to reveal the real story.
4. Garbage Pail Kids Cards
The hilariously gross (and slightly disturbing) collectible cards that made parents cringe and kids double down on collecting them.
5. Slap Bracelets
A fashion statement and minor weapon all in one — just one satisfying snap away from accessorizing your wrist.
6. Bubble Tape
Because regular gum wasn’t enough — only a six-foot roll of pink, powdery goodness would do.
7. Pop Rocks
The fizzy, crackling candy that came with a side of urban legend — because everyone knew a kid who swore it would make your stomach explode when mixed with Pepsi.
8. Tiger Beat Magazine
A teen dream treasure trove filled with glossy pinups of Corey Haim, Kirk Cameron, and NKOTB.
9. View-Master Reels
The closest thing to VR in the ’80s. This vintage toy let kids travel to Disneyland, outer space, and the Muppets’ world — one satisfying click at a time.
10. Glow-in-the-Dark Stars
These were on every kid’s bedroom ceiling, yet somehow, one pack was never quite enough. Kids bought more every chance they could until their room glowed like the Milky Way.
11. Puffy Paint
Puffy Paint gave every T-shirt, denim jacket, and Trapper Keeper a squiggly, neon makeover.
12. Koosh Balls
The squishy, stretchy, totally unnecessary (yet completely irresistible) toy that made recess way more fun.